I couldn’t ignore my phone’s persistent cries for help any longer. Opening the photo library, I began to wade, delete button at the ready, through the 7000+ photos clogging up its memory and sending it towards a nervous breakdown. It was the end of March and, very soon, I’d arrived at photos of social events in February, just a few weeks before. It was hard to comprehend. Since then life had been turned on its head, and it had happened in the blink of an eye.
‘Time suddenly alters completely,’ observed Stephen Fry at the very start of lockdown in the UK. A phenomenon certainly experienced by all of us over the past couple of months. As we begin the slow exit from lockdown, it’s still hard to get our heads around. Time has run amuck. Most days feel as though we’re starring in a remake of Groundhog Day. Déjà vu is becoming a daily occurrence. The days are gradually morphing into one.
For those of us not at work, or able to work from home, there’s a whole lot of time to fill. And it’s a double-edged sword. We have all the spare time we’ve always wished for – and complained about not having – and it’s terrifying! Fry’s advice? ‘[T]aking a deep breath and allowing time to take on a different dimension.’ Sounds simple. But how do we really do that? We can ‘take more time to do everything,’ he explains. We can slow down – Time is ours for the shaping.
Furloughed since March, I’ve had a lot of choice over how to shape mine. Once I’d rejected the rather attractive idea of burrowing myself away inside a duvet for the foreseeable (with snacks and Netflix on constant rotation) I thought back to the New Year’s resolutions I’d made. Of course, they’d been formed with the naïve confidence that this year I’d really keep them. And, of course, they’d disappeared without a trace in the short space of time before the pandemic took over. But now they were back on my mind. They provided the perfect focus for my time in lockdown. Resolution No. 1? Start Writing. So here I am, writing – you guessed it, about Time.
COVID-19’s disruption of the daily lives of the world came at a time when my life already felt somewhat interrupted. After graduating last year, I’d embarked on a quasi-gap year. Thrust out of the comforting chronology of the educational system, like many graduates, for the first time in my life I had no idea what was coming next. Life had lost its road map. Lucky enough to be able to move home for a while, I took it as an opportunity to take some time out and think about what I wanted. Working at a local restaurant gave me structure and routine, but by March this year I’d let slide a few of the personal goals I’d originally planned to work on. And then, it all changed. Locked down at home, there was no escaping COVID-19’s redefinition of time. Nothing to do but slow down, as Fry suggests. The perfect time for those goals, then?
For me, though, slowing down has always been a challenge. Too much time to think. Too little distraction. Unsurprisingly then, the prospect of lockdown was terrifying. I wanted to spend the time positively – pursuing long-held goals like becoming fluent in French, perfecting my baking skills and finally developing a love for PE under the good-looking guidance of Joe Wicks – but was worried, like many, about managing my wellbeing under such strange circumstances. In a survey by the Office of National Statistics, in April 53% of people claimed their wellbeing had been affected by the virus, according to The Independent.[1] Our normal routines and social interactions removed, we’re having to re-learn how to support ourselves. Time altered indefinitely, we’re having to re-learn how to inhabit it – how to be.
It’s week 9 now and so far, despite many ups and downs, I’m feeling mostly positive. There have been good days and bad days, as there always are – my focus now is on getting the balance right. Going forward? There will be days during this pandemic where I cocoon myself in comfy clothes and my duvet and watch Friends re-runs and TikToks from dawn till dusk. There will also be days where I get up and get busy, learn new skills, work on my goals and feel like I’ve achieved something positive. I think it’s about accepting that balance.
Time will continue to move in weird ways for all of us and adapting to this may take time. All we can do is take a deep breath, accept the unfathomable weirdness of it all and spend it as positively as we can. On that note, I think it’s time to go and smash that PE session – or maybe just a cup of tea?
Image Credit: Malvestida Magazine on Unsplash
[1] Forrest, Adam. ‘Coronavirus: Nearly half of Britons suffering ‘high level’ anxiety, new government survey shows’. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/coronavirus-uk-population-anxiety-mental-health-lockdown-ons-a9468331.html
Watch full video of Stephen Fry talking about managing anxiety during the Coronavirus pandemic here.
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